[-*- Sneak a Mikare Peek -*-]

Hm... Sometimes I feel like I use my xanga too much XD Blog about like every little thing... But it's just that more people read that one, than they do this one. And then of course there's the special people who read both! ^__^

Anyways, I didn't really have anything I wanted to say... haha. Besides that I guess.

I think I could like blog my life away... Seriously... If I wanted to >_> But that's kind of scary!!

Ahaha~ I'm posting here! o_O

Anyways, I think this is a topic that I remember Robby touching on a while back, about how people say they can't change because they're unwilling to.

That's irritating. But the reverse is also irritating for me. I get annoyed when people say that someone else won't change. Like you know what? Shut up. You don't know that. It's a form of being judgmental, which I don't like.

Like yeah, it might seem like people won't change, but you don't really know until something happens. Instead of being negative about it, I rather be a little optimistic and have some hope about the situation.

Yeah... I just really don't like it when people do that. It's kind of lumped into the same category as "talking trash" about other people. For me, it might be hard and I don't always pull through with it, but I'd like to try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

haha, might make things a little more painful when and if they don't live up to your "expectation". But having *some* expectations for other people is not a bad thing. You might live up to it. You might not. But it's also something to strive for, if it's a good expectation.

I don't know. I just think this past year has taught me a lot, which I've said before. But I'm still learning and I'm still growing, in good ways ^^ And part of that is due to the ability to change - accepting something bad about myself and willing/trying to change.

Ahh!~ Computers are so annoying... >_< haha, in a sense. Like my wallpaper at the moment is mainly white and the color of my icon text is white! I was playing around with the settings, hoping I could change it somehow... But nope. I don't know how. The only thing I did to it was bold it, and now like lots of other stuff is bolded too. Like the font for my IE url space, all the font for the buttons, etc. Also, I was playing around with this "selection" thing, so now everything is pink! haha, like when I select something/highlight something, it turns light pink for background and darker pink for font...

I just wanted to change the font color for my icons!!! ^^;;

I have no idea why, but this year, it seems like my ups and downs have been at its worst. I'm more easily "down" then usual and honestly, I can't tell what's going on. If someone asked me what was wrong, I couldn't answer with anything.

My drive to do well for the semester has gone down the drain, even though I still want to do good. I haven't been able to settle down these last couple weekends, to get to work on the things that need to be done. I feel like no one understands me, even though they should.

I feel picked on and harassed, even when I know people are only joking. Except that it's getting to me, that I don't think of it as a joke, even if it's supposed to be. It's like the world is backwards. People take me seriously when they shouldn't and they don't when they should.

Whatever is wrong, I've been feeling very alienated and isolated, and yet, I purposely put myself in that situation because I feel very anti-social. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, but definitely subdued. I guess I'm just waiting for *something* to happen, though what, I can't possibly tell you. I guess I'll know when and if it happens.

As a result of this anti-social tendency, I started reading and writing again. If I'm going to get called a nerd for liking it, might as well do so... haha. I guess in a way, that's the only "plus" to this weekend so far.

Snagged from Robby's LJ! :p But yeah, it's kinda hard to answer the socioeconomic stuff when uh... I'm not actually working and I was estimating based on a summer job there. I mean... 6k a year is really little!! haha. Not enuff to survive on anyways. As for the results, I think they're mostly true. I'm definitely getting better in the extroversion part I think. I mean, you can't really unless you throw yourself out into social situations, so yeah XD It's not like total socialite butterfly or anything like that though! I live such a tame life... Rating of "G"... haha. Not that I'm complaining ^^ I like my life drama free and just as simplistic as it can get. I enjoy it like that.

Oh my goooosh! I can't believe how hot he is!! This guy I just met, Lloyd, is suuuuch a hottie!! I can't believe it!! I think I want to date him now!! We got to talk and stuff, like for um... I dunno. Maybe like 3 hours? But aww... So cool. He's a really awesome guy!!! He has that like aww... Cute boyish charm and everything!! He was really sweet too. Took me out for coffee and stuff where we were just sitting and chatting....

Oooh... I think I could drown in his ocean deep eyes... And I was like just *itching* to run my hands through his wavy brown hair! Like absolutely to die for!!! Oh my gooosh!! *squeals* I can't believe how lucky I am!! AND I even got his number!!!

Hm... Should I call him?! Should I?! Should I?! Is that like um... Too soon though?! Ahh! What should I do?!! >___< I really, really, really like him!! And I like just want to hear his voice again... And the way he says my name in that ultra syrupy smooth voice of his!! *melts into a puddle* And yummy nummy... Talk about DELISH~ bod!! o.O Like ooooh my gosh!! So unbelievable!!!

Ahh!! So should I call him?! Or should I wait... But when I read those romance sites, they say that the guy usually calls!! And to wait no more than 3 days if he was interested... But I'm the girl!! Oh my gosh!! What should I do?! Do I seem desperate if I call him?!! I don't know what to do if he doesn't call me!! Three days is sooo long though!! I want to hear his voice like right *now*!! Arghh.... What a dilemma!! 

I want to hear his voice... But I don't want to seem desperate! What am I supposed to do though? If he never calls me, I'm gonna be like toootally devastated!! Ugh... I'm so disappointed!! I should have thought of it at the time, but I should have snapped a shot of him on my phone!! So at least I could like drool over his picture... And *not* have to go through all this anguish of waiting! I don't want to wait!! >__< 

.....
.....
.....

Ooooh... I just went to get something and oooh my gosh!! I met this really, really yummy guy Jim!! He's like tooootally drop dead gorgeous!! Like OH... MY... GOSH!!!! I can't believe it!! Eyes like the spring green grass and pale blonde hair... 

Talk about like "Hello~~ Gorgeous!!"

Snatched this from Bri's Facebook thing, but meh. I'm not much for posting anything there. And this is yeah... Ignored much as it is XD Kinda late for this, considering it's almost March... But whatever! It's just for fun ^^

[ ] stayed single
[X] got kissed
[X] kissed someone new
[ ] fell OUT of love
[ ] fell IN love
[X] made out
[ ] made out in a car
[ ] kissed in the snow
[ ] kissed in the rain
[ ] had my heart broken
[X] broke someone else's heart
[ ] had a stalker
[X] lost a friend
[X] had a good relationship with someone
[ ] came out of my closet
[ ] got pregnant
[ ] had an abortion
[ ] got married
[ ] had a divorce
[ ] kisssed someone of the same sex
[X] met someone that I will never forget
[X] did something I regret
[ ] lost my "true" love
[ ] lost faith in love
[ ] kissed under mistletoe
[ ] got a promotion
[X] got a pay raise
[ ] changed jobs/got a job
[ ] lost my job
[X] quit my job
[ ] dated a co-worker
[ ] dated my boss
[ ] dated my boss's son/ daughter
[ ] got fired from my job
[X] got straight A's
[ ] met a teacher who I became friends with
[ ] met a teacher who I really hate
[X] found the subject I love
[ ] failed a class
[X] cut class
[ ] skipped school
[X] got in a fight with a classmate
[X] did something I was proud of
[ ] discovered a new talent
[X] proved myself an idiot
[ ] embarrassed myself in front of the class
[ ] fell in love with a teacher
[ ] was involved in something that I will never forget
[ ] painted a picture
[ ] wrote a poem
[ ] ran a mile 2000 times
[X] listened to music I couldn't stand
[X] double dipped. (like food? I do that all the time xD)
[ ] skinny dipped.
[X] went to a sleepover
[ ] went to camp
[ ] threw a surprise party
[X] laughed till I cried
[ ] laughed till I peed my pants
[ ] flirted shamelessly
[ ] visited a foreign country
[X] visited a foreign province
[ ] cooked a disastrous meal.
[X] lost something important to me
[X] got a gift I love.
[X] realized something new about myself
[ ] went on a diet
[ ] tried to gain weight
[ ] dyed my hair
[ ] came close to losing my life
[ ] someone close to me died
[ ] went to a wild party
[X] drank alcohol
[ ] drank alcohol underage
[ ] got drunk
[ ] got arrested.
[ ] read a great book
[X] saw a great movie
[ ] saw a movie so scary that it made me cry
[ ] saw a favorite band live
[ ] did something that I want to tell everyone
[X] experienced something new
[X] made new friends
[X] found out who your real friends are
[X] lied to your parents
[ ] snuck out
[ ] got in trouble with police
[ ] kissed in a pool
[ ] kissed under the stars
[ ] kissed in a movie theatre
[ ] smoked
[ ] got wasted.
[X] went to a party
[X] had the time of your life
[X] danced
[X] had a crush on someone
[ ] changed your sexual preference
[ ] swam in a pool
[X] went shopping for hours
[ ] made a snowman
[ ] went snowboarding
[ ] went sledding
[ ] slept in past 2pm.
[X] held someones hand that you care about
[ ] got wasted in a public place
[ ] got wasted in Mexico
[X] told someone you like them as more than a friend
[X] gone on vacation
[ ] gone on vacation with a friend
[X] driven a car
[ ] played strip poker
[ ] danced in the rain
[ ] got in a car accident
[ ] saw someone get in a car accident
[ ] got in a fist fight
[X] laughed until you couldn't breathe
[X] missed someone
[ ] got hit by a car
[ ] sent someone to the hospital
[ ] got a new pet
[ ] lost a pet
[X] had an amazing year. some parts were great, but not amazing, lol
[X] enjoyed this year overall

I hate it when people think they know everything, especially when it's *your* life they're talking about. Like what the hell? You're not me >.> So shut the heck up. haha, I don't say that. But like mm... Sometimes you get that feeling, even if it's a tremor of it. Like they know everything going on and how you should react and what not. They assume this or that about your life and then it's like trying to shove it on you, even though you yourself know otherwise... Blah.

Yesterday, I was watching the finale for that show with mom and sissy. It came down to the top two guys and awww... :( The guy I guessed didn't win!

hehe, but either way, I'm happy. Cuz I was hoping one of the two guys would win ^^ It's really fun watching them dance and haha... There was this one part where they had to dance with each other for the finale performance... haha. So funny! The two guys' names are Travis and Benji. So they called themselves "Tranji" XDD And then they did this like nerdy transformation for like yeah... Lolz. It was a hip-hop routine. But yeah. It was funny.

The Benji guy won, and he gets like a year's contract to work with Celine Dion for her shows, 100k 'cold hard cash' and this hybrid SUV. Pretty darn good... His dancing career'll be set after this!!


Either than that, another week of school begins... Just have to survive this week and then...!! YAAAAAY~~ *Celebrates* haha, yeah. Just a little inside "expectation" that mm... Basically only um... Me and sis know about XDD

And oh my gosh! Like a week til my b-day! I'm gonna be sooo old >.> Lolz, jk! It was funny though cuz mom was like "Oh my gosh! You're so old! You're gonna be 22!!" I was like "Uh... Actually, I'm getting older every day XDD" It's only "number"-wise that I'm getting older. But like sheesh. I'm really getting older by the second, so like who cares :p It's not like I'm ashamed of my age or whatever.

Oh yeah. We went out on Friday just past cuz sissy had to do her eye exam... So me and mom were waiting and just looking around at different stores. Mom was like "Hey! These are cheap! Do you want to get a pair?" (She was looking at earrings.) And so I asked, "Whatever for?" Her reply: "I need to get you something for your birthday." To this, I replied, "What? You *already* got me something..." Cuz she did! She got me a new winter jacket, a new scarf and some new clothes... So I was like ">_< What are you talking about?" But her reasoning was that it was soooo cheap, that she didn't even have to think about it. Lolz, they were like $3 or something. 

So finally, I picked out a pair and she got them for me. I ended up wearing them out for the first time yesterday and my kids complimented me on them ^^ haha, I got spoon fed ice cream for the first time in like uh... Years yesterday... XDD It was part of the game for our lesson, and we had an odd number of kids. So I had to go with the "leftover" kid. Poor Mason. He was the only guy there yesterday, so all the other girls were giving him a "hard time". I was teasing the girls about writing him love letters cuz they were scribbling messages on like napkins and throwing them to him (across the table). And they were writing things like "Your in love." "You love a girl." and stuff like that...

haha, of course being the age that they are (grade 2), he's like "Ehh!! Eww!! Noo!!" I was like "Ahaha, you rather love a boy??" And he's like "Yes! ... Wait. No >_<" He's such a cutie... hehe. They're all so cute ^^ Bratty, yes. Cute, yes. But meh. I still love it XD

Lolz, I was feeling really good today and did like all this hw... Like how lame is that? To actually *enjoy* hw... My keener colors are totally showing themselves XD

Anyways, I accomplished a lot and almost finished *all* my hw for the wkend, except like one thing. Stupid cover letter >.> But then yeah, I got bored and figured, might as well work on my writing. I haven't touched it in like: oh my gosh! Forever~ So yeah. I figured I should finally try to finish that one story that was *so* close to being done... It's pretty sad, but I mean... It just needed its closing!! Maybe like a page more... And I put it off for more than 2 years I think... Like holy smokes girl~ Talk about lazy... Lolz. But now! I can say that it's happily finished!

I don't really like how I ended it and stuff, but I mean, it's done for now. I'll hafta take some time to reread it and edit and stuff, but still... It's done in a sense that there's a conclusion to the story. And well... It's been waiting for a long time, so I feel even better now that I did that - as crappy as I think it is :p The ending specifically I mean. There's so much more you could say, but I mean at like 88k+ words... ^^;; A little yeah... This is my longest one yet... Out of the 4 stories I finished now. Well, not *exactly* sure on ToPR cuz that one is in chapter format, but I still don't think it's as long as this one.

Woot! Go me~~ ^___^

Braden was right, like usual. Should have known better. Ah well, you learn more about yourself over time.

Cycle time: 3 months. Might as well give up for now. 

No big lost there. But the illusion's gone and reality settles in.

It's finally New Year's Eve~ hehe, just wanted to post since it was. But yeah, not much to say. Just wanted to post since I can!

Well, for me, I don't think of the semester ending until I've gotten all of my marks back! So yep, today I just checked and finally got all of them back. Unfortunately... *sobs* There's a blemish to my streak! There always is... Haha. I got one A- >_< But the rest of my courses were all A+... So yep! Blemish of an A- as I call it XD Of course I know *some* people who would kill just to be getting those sorts of marks... So I'll just shut up about it right now. Final GPA out of 4.0 is sitting at 3.98 this semester though, which I'm really proud of! I did so well, something I finally accomplished with a bit of hard work. Unlike my nasties of 2.-some in uni, with minimal effort. So despite the minor tiffs over the semester over a few certain marks, I know I came out victorious in this... Nyaha. Not that it was *really* a competition anyways! 

As for other news, I went dancing again today! Oh my gosh >__< I'm sooo unbelievably out of practice. I'm already novice as it is, but today... It was just horrible!! I couldn't follow Willis really well; it was all so foreign again. We skipped practice for two weeks!! Last time I went over on Sunday to practice, but Ana wasn't home yet and we went out to eat lunch. But by the time we got to the place where he wanted to take me... It was closer to dinner time and the place wasn't quite open yet - they opened at 5pm. So yeah, we walked around a bit more til it was time.

So yeah, it was like sooo >_< hehe, it was still fun! But it was a frustrated sort of fun... Lolz. He was saying something about wanting to dance with me, but also wanting to poke me too... haha. Cuz I just sucked. I remembered the moves, but I couldn't remember the feeling of dancing with him and following his lead - cuz that's what tango's all about. But we struggled our way through and tried to regain lost ground. I have to say, there is one move that I still can't follow him despite how much Ana shows me... I'm really craptacular at following ^^;; Makes him frustrated and makes me frustrated too... Too independent! Lolz. Can't give that up to anyone~

Like since I remembered the moves, I would try to do them on my own, but he hasn't even done anything yet... Or I wouldn't follow what he was leading ^^;; Ahh... So need to practice more!! It lost a bit of its funness cuz of that. Cuz we were better before then we are now! But all in all, I still like it! It's an enjoyable pasttime and it's something good to know. It's just too bad that the opportunities to practice now are so limited. Like tonight's didn't even start til 10pm... And it only works well since it's not during school time. But once school starts again, I won't be able to go to something like that. Ahh... We'll have to see.

*sigh* Feeling so unloved now... Willis got "mad" at me cuz I sucked... Bray's gone, so there's no one to perpetually bug at whim... Though, there are some upsides to things I guess? I kind of regained my independence. I had to give up a bit of that while Bray was here cuz he was *here*, here. Couldn't exactly not be a gracious hostess and just ditch him to do his own thing. Though, haha... Kinda did that a few times when we were just doing our own thing on the computers. Not that it was really an awkwardness to it! Just seems a little odd cuz he was dependent on us, me specifically, for things to do.

At the same time, I really miss the time we had together, that I could just look around the corner, so to speak, and know that there was someone to hang out with, *beyond* my family. haha, I'm sure I could do that now to Willis if I really wanted to. But it's not quite the same thing having to *call* your friend as opposed to just knowing that he's already in the house with you... That sort of thing. And since he was here for me, it was like I knew I could hang out with him for as long as I wanted... Until he left that was >_<

And like the time I went to go visit him, everything was so rushed. I mean, I stayed longer at his place then he did but it was just as rushed. There were so many things to jam pack into the days. It wasn't like just sitting back, chilling out and enjoying each other's company. There were times of those too, mostly the chats we had before bedtime, but beyond those, it was like rushing off here and there to show him this or show him that. Ahh, it'd just be so much nicer if he stayed longer, lived closer and was just always within reach. Physical reach anyways XD

If anything, I "blame" Willis... hehe, it's just that before I was pretty content to sit around at home and do whatever, mostly just stuff on the computer. Now, the only thing I really do on the comp is chat, if anything at all. And instead, I'm forced to look else where for my sense of entertainment - preferably something that involves going out... Ahh!! It's always Willis' fault XD But yeah. It's not like I didn't like going out before. More that I didn't really have someone to go out with on a regular basis. It's generally fun to go out, but I mean, you can only go out *so* much with your parents and your sister and think that it's fun... At least, that's how I see it. 

Don't get me wrong. I love my sister. I love my mother and my father. It's just not the same thing as hanging out with friends!! Of course the downside to that is the extra expenditure... Lolz. Especially since I'm relatively jobless, ignoring my full-time student job. Cuz we all know *that* doesn't pay and if anything, we have to pay to *be* one... haha. Ahh, it's the price you pay I guess. Having a physical social life versus having a strictly online social life. I love both - I truly do. But once you get the taste of just hanging out in person, the online stuff isn't as appealing anymore. Not to say that I don't like you online people anymore! XD Just that it's a lot nicer to *do* something with someone than *just* chatting and interacting at that kind of impersonal level. 

I guess the only person I don't feel the same as that whom I have a rather semi-strictly now online relationship is Bray. But that's just cuz I've known him for so darn tootin- long... Lolz. Not that I regret a moment of it. But just that we know each other so well online. We can read each other's moods even if it's *just* through MSN, which is more then I can say for everyone else I talk to online. And because I've known him for so long, there's just things that I would trust him with no matter what. Ahh, I'd trust him with my life. But yeah... hehe. That's rather unnecessary. Some things, they can only come with time ^^

It was totally wonderful to see him again in person though~ I'm definitely going to miss that aspect of our relationship. And again, looking forward with anticipation to the next time that we can meet again in the flesh. hehe, I got my two hugglez from him though!! Once when he arrived and once when he was leaving ^^ That's one extra compared to last time... hehe. I would have got two last time, but I was thinking he'd be so scared if I just huggled him... So I didn't ^^;; But at the end we did! Yay!!

Ahh... *sighs* Such a good-looking guy ^^ haha. I'm biased~ I'll admit it! I guess cuz I got to grow up along side him and see him mature into the man he is now... Lolz. That sounds soooo lame~o! But it's true. "Watched" as he matured both mentally and physically - to see the changes from now and then. Of course *he* doesn't think he looks much different, but like me seeing myself every day, he sees himself every day. So they're not exactly things that you'd notice about yourself.

Given that I think I'll end up spending a lot of time with him in the future, I hope my relationship with Willis and some of the other people from school develops into something just as substantial to me as my relationship with Braden. After all, these are the people who I could be working with in the future!! And course it's best to get along with them if you can ^^

How life can change so quickly... It's so amazing, and yet so simple at the same time. I know in my years of naivety, I wished things would never change - I would be friends with my friends forever, etc. But no, it's not really possible. It *is*, but it takes a lot of effort on both parts. Once you give up, or once the other person gives up, it's game over. Plain and simple. Hence, why people drift apart. But in the time of our happiness, we don't see that. We just enjoy the feelings and desire for things to remain the same.

But like I alluded to earlier, those are thoughts of naivety. Things never stay the same. One moment can change the course of the outcome drastically. It might not, but it *can*. And even the slightest moment affects the future outcomes. It's just that the changes might not be so easily noticed immediately... But the changes still occur. And then, when the bigger moments appear and take place, the small changes also get brought to the light.

Anyways...~ haha. I'm just rambling on it seems ^^;; Not really, but rather just sharing my lengthy contemplative thoughts I suppose. On this and that... Just life itself!

Haha, it's December already!! Figured I might as well put a quick post here.

It's almost like whoa... End of semester!! I have two weeks left and that's it! Soooo crazy! The semester went by so fast... But I'm definitely look forward to the end of it! I'm not burnt out like a lot of people from my program seem to be, but I just want a nice long break :p School gets to you, not matter how much you think you like it... haha. Then again, I fluctuate between hating school and loving school, so yah. Of course XD

So much to look forward to during the Christmas break! Life is keeping me nice and busy. School, social life, church, alone time... Yeah. In a way, I enjoy every aspect of it. Though, the school one is the one that goes iffy from time to time. I guess it depends on how much work there is to do! I don't get swamped, but I just have that "eww!!~" feeling from time to time, where I absolutely abhor studying and anything school related. Kinda like I was feeling about the computer last week! haha. S'all good I suppose!

Ahh... I wish somehow you could fast forward your life to the good parts... Lolz. Dec 14 - 18, Bray's coming to visit! Sweet~ Dec 22, probably going to Ang's church Christmas celebration. And we're going to try to do something between the 18th to 22nd, cuz we haven't done anything together for the longest time. Planned anyways. And she's leaving for Winter Con on the 26th I believe. So yeah... Then Jan 2 to Jan 6, I'm off to Van-land XD To visit uncle and grandpa! Which is totally cool too cuz I haven't seen them/gone to visit in like 2 years at least... And then Jan 8, we're already back in school. Those 3 weeks of mine are going to go by sooo fast... I just know it!!

Time to get ready for school now though~

Lolz, today, I was at Willis' house after eating after tango. So anyways, he promised me some lemonade that I could try. While I was there, I kind of took over his computer for a bit, so I was talking to this one guy from our class, but he didn't know that it was me. haha, so yah. I was talking to him while Willis went to get me said promised lemonade.

Anyways! He never showed up for tango, so I asked him why and stuff. And how he finally wanted to come to tango cuz I know Willis asked him plenty of times before that. So he was saying how a cute girl asked him to go. And I was like "What? Who?" And then his reply was like "I'm pretty sure madeleine said I should go on thursday. etc etc" So I was like ahaha... And told Willis to go look XD And then I was like "hahaha", "btw", "this *is* madeleine." Lolz... Tricked~

But yah, afterwards I invited him over to Willis' house... haha, like it's my own. But yah, so he said he'd come and we were waiting... And waiting... Until he finally called. Stupid transit >_< Delayed trains and stuff, so he was like late coming over. By the time he called, it was like 8:30 and I invited him around 7:30 or so. Shouldn't take that long for him to come!! So yah. We went to pick him up at the station, since I drove and it's like FREEEEEEZING outside!~

I had to leave by 10, cuz mom and sissy needed to get to work and in a way, I have like a 10:30 curfew cuz I gotta get the car back to them XD But yah. We were watching Lucky Number Slevin until my mom called at like 9:50, so I was like *sigh* "Best to head out now." Ended up giving Joel a ride to the station since it was on my way anyways. And got to chat with him for a bit.

Funny thing is... (Though I'm not really surprised XD) He thought I was like from HS... haha. Like no. 4 years ago maybe XD But he thought I was like his age, and he's like 19 or whatever. I thought *he* was *my* age at first!! Looks older :p But yah. That was pretty amusing though. And pretty cool! Cuz usually I don't talk to him much in school. 

Such a slack weekend though. No homework to do and like no tests to study for, coming up anyways. I know, I know. There's *always* finals to study for... But eww! Why would I?!! XDD So yah. Did like *nothing* all weekend. Friday was "wasted" bumming around in a moody state of mind. Playing piano, playing a bit of games before giving up, going on the computer for like 20 minutes before being annoyed with it and then like going to bed... haha. And then Sat, I went out with sissy and Isaac to watch Casino Royale! *I* thought it was a good movie! And rather enjoyed it, even though Willis heard it was kinda sucky. But whatever. I find that people don't like movies I like (in general) and that I wouldn't know until I actually watched it. So yah. After that, went to bed pretty early again cuz Bray ditched me to watch said movie with Ev. I was in bed at like 10 again... haha. Well, 9:30 on Friday. But yah. Willis invited me to karaoke with his friends, but I didn't go cuz it went til late (2am) and it was like all his friends, of whom I only know like 2 - Travis and his roomie. So yah. 

He msg'd me at like 3:30am when *he* got home, and woke me up cuz I was like half-awake, in that state of mind where you like roll over and go back to bed. Except I heard my phone go off with loud "beep beep... beep beep..." I ended up calling him back and chatted with him for a few minutes before *he* went to bed and I ended up getting up to do something, so I could be tired again XD An hour  and a half later, I crawled back into bed and slept on and off. Like slept, but didn't sleep too well - semi-woke up a couple times. Like during the transition between dreams... Lolz. 

Today was church, tango, "linner/lea/sea" (haha, lunch-dinner, at like 4pm) and then chauffeuring, Willis' house, picking up Joel and going back to Willis' place and then movie and then Joel to the station and then back home and then dropping off mom and sis at work and then now... Pretty busy I guess! XD Really relaxing overall though. 

*sigh* Another day at school tomorrow... It's supposed to be even colder AND it's my long day at school tomorrow... Definitely not looking forward to that! But whatever. Such is life.

hehe, I guess the future depends on how far ahead people are planning. It's still future if it's a few days away, but yah... Generally we think of like years into the future when we think of the future. I'm not thinking that far ahead! Though, in a way, I am. Just not what I'm refering to this time around.

Anyways, this last Sunday, I went to this tango "class" with Willis, which was really fun XD Unfortunately, I totally suck... But that's expected of a newbie!~ So yah. And this weekend, there's like a dance party coming up that he invited me to. But I dunno... I want to go!! But there's all these complications - sort of. Like getting a ride there, getting a ride home, what do I wear, what time is it at, more importantly, what kind of shoes should I wear, etc. etc. So much to think about!

One of the reasons I want to go is cuz well... Never really been to a party XD I have... But I don't count it as a party really. Like it was a "drinking" party... And duh. I don't drink really. So obviously, all I really did was sit around at the place and like listen in on other people's conversations. And it was like stupid cuz they were all pretty tight and I was like the "newbie" there, cuz I only knew Ian. So yah... I was like blah... haha, course Bray was all like "blah blah, don't try new experiences" before going. I went and blah, it was blah :p

This time around, it should be better! Except we need to like figure everything out... Cuz at least I get to do something besides just sit around like a loser... haha.

*siiigh* Just being bored since I'm at school in my comp class and yah... Don't feel like working on the next assignments we have. Not yet at least! Mm... Maybe in a bit. Or maybe just tomorrow XD For now, everything that needs to be done is done. So I'm good.

Oooh. Besides that, there's like school stuff - had a Chem quiz yesterday that we're supposed to get back on Friday. Hopefully I did okay, cuz I kinda think that I messed up one thing now. Like we were talking about it after - I did the format right, but might have left out one of the details in getting the answer. But I'm not sure ^^;; Can't remember now!! All I know is that other people got the same answer as me. *shrugs* It's not that big of a deal.

Mm... What else is there? Going to Van in January, but that's like more than a month away... Lolz. But yup! That's my "special" Christmas break activity. Which'll definitely be nice! Get to see my uncle and my grandpa ^___^ Grandpa's getting old and I don't want to miss the opportunity to see him like I did when Grandma passed away... Couldn't go to the funeral cuz I was still in school >__< But that was like 2 or maybe even 3 years ago now!

Anything else of interest to tack onto this post...? Mm... Not that I can think of! My brain is a little bit on shut down, so yah. Stressed out a bit yesterday and stuff. 

Ahaha - newsflash: Willis got in trouble again from the teacher cuz he's on "e-mail probation" XD Cuz before, he was always playing around on the comp and ended up doing one of the assignments late and yah... The teacher got on his case about it now :p Like every single class... Lolz. Meh! It's his own fault for being laaaaaazy~

I guess that's enough from me, cuz this post is turning totally random now... >.>

The three "dreadful" words that every man and woman feels a little bit (or a lot bit XD) nervous and anxious about expressing to another person...

I LOVE YOU.

At least, so I think. Why else would I write that?

The things we take for granted sometimes are just so fundamental. I stayed up late (as you can see from the time stamp of this thing XD) to have a little heart to heart with my mom. I joined her and sissy down in the family room (I think... Or is it living room? ^^;; Not that it really matters.) around 10pm after getting up from my sort of passed out state on the floor of my room... Lolz, I was trying to study XD Anyways, I wasn't feeling too good but I made my way downstairs since I heard them talking and joined them there.

Sissy poo stayed til around 10:40pm until she had to leave for work and me and mom were talking from like 10:45pm til like 1:30am. What did we talk about? This and that: their work, bfs and relationships, the future, my future, life... Just this and that. But so often, we just miss out on that time together - busy with school, busy with work... And so I really enjoyed that, even if I'm sure to pay for it later via lack of sleep XD

It wasn't like saying it outright, but just the things we said, how we could talk openly and honestly with each other. They're just a couple of the signs of love.

hehe, the signs are good and stuff - nothing wrong with those. But I mean, it's so much nicer when you can just say it, mean it and prove it all at the same time! XD

Mm... I guess I'm just wallowing in the experience... hehe, it's been a while since the last time me and mum did that, so it was really enjoyable, even if it was pretty much in the middle of the night/early morning... Definitely not going to regret it one bit! I was going to post about this later, but the thoughts just wouldn't leave my mind and I guess I'm rather "alert" cuz of the so-called "nap" earlier... The thoughts just tumble round and round in my head and it's like, "Leave me alone so I can sleep!" But they wouldn't... :p

Just for good measure:

I love you! ^____^ (Gotta make sure you say it enough.)

Now it's time for bed... At least, however much I can get out of it... And hope that I still do well on my exam... ehehe, s'all good :)

Yay! ^^ 

I didn't know til this morning, but our math class got cancelled. And even though I technically have comp class afterwards, I'm not going cuz that's just too late. I already finished the assignments that were due for today, so it's okay. I e-mailed the instructor just to let him know though. Be professional about it ;) haha.

So yup! We "finished" at like 12pm instead cuz of not going to those two classes. Normally, I'd be done at like 6pm >_< Sooo long! Now it's a nice break, especially since I kept thinking that it was supposed to be a long weekend for most of last week. But nope! Long weekend is this coming weekend, cuz of Remembrance Day! Bray gets Fri off instead of the Mon, but I rather have Mon off cuz Mon is my long day (9-6pm with a 2 hr break from 12-2pm). At first, it was a 3-hr break, but we kinda whined about it to our math instructor, cuz not everyone has that 4-6pm computers class.

He's pretty laid back and so he said it'd be okay to rearrange and we tacked on an extra hour to the Mon class. We haven't yet discussed where we're taking out the other hour from. Either Wed (one hr class) or on Thurs (two hr class). Sah~wheet! No math class for like a week now... hehe. Cuz he was at a math conference all of last week, except on Mon where we had our test (which I got 100% on... XD) and then he was supposed to be here today, but he's not... So yup! Luuuck~y!

hehe, I'm still at school though cuz I'm helping out some friends with our Excel assignments (the ones due today), so hopefully they don't hafta stay that late. Even if they have to stay, it shouldn't take too long cuz they'll have done most of it and will only have to do the little "details" stuff. Like one of the things we need is to insert a "math type" equation thing. It's a type of program. But apparently, they don't have it on these computers that we're on. So he can't type it out on this one. But still! To type out that and just insert it... Won't take like 2 hours!! XD

I'm probably just going to go home after they're done, whenever that is. Maybe 2 some, maybe around 3. I dunno. But whatever time it is, it's waaaay better then staying late until 6pm >_< So yup! Until then... ^^

Though... I guess I'll hafta go home and study... *gag* Cuz I didn't do much of it this weekend... ehehe. And there's a test coming up! So can't slack off...

"You're nice and you're smart. You're perfect."

As if...

Lolz, that's what one of my fellow classmates said about me after we were discussing our math test XD

Okay... Ignorance in my case is bliss... But it's not always true. Ugh... The things people say sometimes... Just so stupid!! That's another thing that I can't stand, along with the self-centeredness of some people. But really... Use your brain *just* a little!! That little can save you so much grief and hassle... 

Maybe it's not even ignorance... But rather an unwillingness to accept reality? I dunno... Gah.

I know I'm ranting... If anyone was really that curious, it relates to something that happened on Dew XD But still!! 

Mm... Just the level of immaturity you see in people sometimes... Can't understand what goes on through people's heads at times like this!! 

Seems rather incoherent now... Lolz. Cuz I don't want to go into details. I thougth to update my journal. Might as well do so with a rant... Those are always good... hehe. Though! I already took action on this!! I just ahh... Had to >_< I could not avoid it any longer!!

"Because it's our nature..."

@%$@#!$@ 

DON'T YOU DARE LUMP ME IN WITH YOU!! I AM NOT LIKE YOU! >____<